In the end, after a day of talk. Its still about you. Only you.

sigh. you wanna share with me what happen today. fine i get it. you are pretty excited to share with me. but im being a dick to tell you im tired and stuff. but hello? You dont even have the thinking of telling what you gonna do this and that. end up you just 'im home' and later on blame me for wanting to sleep when you needed me to talk. IN THE END. IT IS STILL ABOUT YOU. i understand where you are coming from. ya tell me stories of your day. happy to share with me. did you even spare a thought of me? No, i dont think so. i dont think you would even bother try to think for me. its 1plus am leh. if im tired. just let me sleep and share with me tomorrow? since when have i say that im disappointed and stuff when you are gonna sleep when i got something to share? no, i never express myself because its just plain stupid?? hello?? i say i will learn to understand you, but not this way please. Its because of this small little things, that you brought up and make a fuss about it. if im tired, let me sleep. if you are tired, i let you sleep. Since when have i tell you im disappointed in how you treat me? now you are telling me is your fault. HAHA. stop making me laugh. 60% that you aint the one saying sorry, rather your friend asked you to do it. but whatever. i cant say its not my fault for saying that im tired and throw you alone while you wanna talk.

in relationship. theres two people. two people with a same goal. to prolong the relationship. to be understanding. to be reasonable. to be willing to give space for each other.

in this relationship. all i see. are, you, you and you. Yes i said i will try to be more understanding to you. im giving in. but i dont see you doing the same thing. whenever we quarrel. you start by saying my fault blah blah blah. im not trying to understand you blah blah blah. Please, like you would try to understand me like that. you dont even. example? today. right now. currently. im being tired waiting from 11plus till like 1plus. when you started "actively" using your phone to talk to me. if i say i tired, wont you let me sleep and share with me tomorrow? by doing that, isnt this quarrel avoidable? instead you keep on going and going and going, then say i dont understand you. i mean, come on. you dont even try. you dont fucking try. im seriously immune. i really give up on you to try and understand me already. In this relationship. is like me being the servant and you being the lady i served. It is, unfortunately a 'dead' relationship to me right now. i love you. i still do. but i just dont expect anything from you right now. from today onwards. and yes i hate to use this word but, im going to 'act' normal even if it kills me.

i give up.

Thoughts

You always say i neglect your feelings, having a bad impression of you. But look at your own actions and reflect on yourself. You said you will do this and that. But no actions. When we switched roles. i told you the same thing and you don't even want me to explain. You just can't be bothered with what i am about to say. Now you expect me to just let it go? Fine, i do not want to stir up troubles again and end up a bad night, though it already is a bad night for me. With YOU being or acting like you care but you don't. Still can say not purposely. I don't know what to say already. Thought no message? Very lazy to see my chat meh. Very difficult to go see meh. And stop using your "forgetful" mind as an excuse. It doesn't matter actually. Since i am really numb. The main thing is that, i am really disappointed and i will never, ever expect much from you anymore. i will still message you even when you don't reply. No worries. I will be normal even if you reply me 12 hours later or so.

"when you are wondering why the unlucky stuffs happen to you, search under a book called 'shit happens'."

LIFE

hello blog. so i decided to write up. its be a shitty 2 years right now. having a r/s or not r/s currently drives me crazy being unable to communicate to the person. IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. ALWAYS AND ALWAYS. you say you dont wanna explain because of my impression of you. BUT YOU ARE WRONG. IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR SICKENING ATTITUDE THAT IS WHY. IF PEOPLE GOT A BAD IMPRESSION ABOUT YOU, SHOULDNT YOU BE EXPLAINING OR DEFEND YOURSELF TO PROVE YOURSELF YOU AINT THAT PERSON?! WHATS MORE I AM/AM NOT YOUR BF. SO ISNT IT MORE RIGHT THAT YOU SHOULD EXPLAIN IT TO ME. GOD DAMMIT. THOUGHT YOU WERE MATURE. BUT I GUESS YOU ARENT.